Birthday

Yesterday was the boss's birthday so everything was put on hold for a day out. fair dos the weather is spectacular at the moment, and we drove to Hampton Court gardens in Hope Under Dinmore
http://www.hamptoncourt.org.uk/

We, unusually for us avoided alcohol and had a pleasant stroll around the grounds before nipping off to Brockhampton
http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-brockhampton

This is one of her favourite places and we enjoyed the late autumn sun whilst idly wandering why a C15th manor house has a sky dish poking out of the back.

In the evening we went to our fave restaurant in Ludlow
http://www.koo-ook.co.uk/
The meal and the welcome was as good as ever. Housemate arrived with her take out to pick us up at 10.

Today was dog washing day, DJ enjoyed the experience immensely and lay down relishing the pampering. Ari however was a different proposition and in the spirit of inclusivity I ended up as wet as he. He was particularly indignant when I tried to rinse him off

Rooster looks in fine fettle for the weekend, he had his final hoof trim this morning, is having a clip tomorrow and will be in top form for his 50 miles on Saturday. There will be no more posts until Sunday as we will be travelling to Mid Wales with him.

One of my two tips won on Tuesday and today I expect Dunowen Point from the McCain stable to win the 2 50 at Bangor today.

See you next week

As the Red Dragon endurance festival approaches the number one rider and myself took oirselves to mid Wales yesterday to do some reconnaissance work on the course. This is so I will know where to crew Rooster with water , sloshes and refreshments for the rider as well. The scenery around Builth Wales was stunning in the autumn sun and hopefully H & R will be able to appreciate the views,

Rooster will go past this too fast to appreciate on Saturday.

While we were out I was able to call in at a couple of pubs to refresh myself. One that we were looking for was not open for customers. It always amazes me that landlords complain that they can't make a living and then are not open to sell beer. How much does it cost to stand behind a bar ?

Some average racing at Sedgefield this afternoon, but a win double on the wonderfully named Manger Hanagement in the 3 20 and Brother Bob for the in form Longsden stable in the 2 50 may well pay out.

Fetch the ball

DJ's training for the doggy olympics has shown that she is not yet ready for the 100metres. So we decided to go for event number two; the Ball retrieval grand prix.

So off we went with Ari into the yard to practice. Ari picked the idea up quickly and as I threw the ball he shot off to retrieve it, we repeated the act, off he went again with DJ sitting next to me barking encouragement. Ari soon realised that this was a prima facie case of the proleteriat being abused by the petit bougeoisie, as he was doing all the work for no reward. off he went to find a cat to terrorise.

OK DJ,' you've seen what to do.'.
 "Yes fetch the ball fetch the ball"
 I lobbed the ball across the yard and off DJ set...at right angles to where the ball went.
"Where's the ball where's the ball" she said. I retrieved it and came back to the start.
 'Ready this time ?' "Yes fetch the ball fetch the ball". Off went the ball and off went DJ in the wrong direction again.
 We spent half an hour with me gently lobbing the ball and DJ romping off in random directions.

Eventually she stood still and I gently threw the ball to her, she watched it bounce gently past her like a Sunday league goalkeeper. The second time, it landed in her mouth "I got the ball I got the ball" was her muffled bark as she lolloped towards me, unfortunately the ball must have unbalnced her and she tripped over and ended up lying on the ball."Where's the ball gone" she seemed to say.
 Time to try another event I think.

                                  A rare shot of DJ and the ball in close proximity.

The eagle eyed among you will have spotted the rampant greenness of the tomato plant in the background. This is because I harvested three red ones yesterday. A feast !!

My tip yesterday ran brilliantly and if the race had been 2 miles we would have collected, sadly it was 2miles and one furlong and by the time the, not very aptly named, Bullet Man arrived at the finishing post the caretaker was locking up.
 There is no jump racing today so the bookies will have to go short.

Stung like a bee

What an exciting day yesterday was with Alpacas appearing and disappearing, I was sure that I had seen an Alpaca the other side of the cattle grid but by the time I got there it had disappeared. Was concerned for my sanity so didn't tell nice lady next door. Next thing he re-appears this side of the grid on the drive. Huhh !. This time nice lady called and eventually Cassius (all her alpacas have names similar to those in a minor Surrey prep school- you know Cassius, Arriety, Fungal Infection- though I may have misheard the latter) is returned to his field while she hunted for his escape route. Turns out he had been spotted and returned by the gamekeeper, it's amazing how persuasive a small tweedy chap with a gun can be.

Ari, on one of adventures around the yard finally cornered Furrgal, as he has been trying to do for about 6 months, and this time he was gonna take him down. As I hurried over to see what the commotion was about I was just in time to see Furrgal rear up before giving the lumbering hound a quick left/right combination on the snot box and zipping back up the hay bales to taunt him again. It was just like Ali and Joe Frazier in Manilla.

                          Beaten again Ari retreats to re think his cat pulverising strategy.

I hope you were able to get on Hazy Tom as he romped home yesterday, he will be a good horse this season. Todays tip runs at Market Rasen in the 4 35 and is Bullet Man who is available at 7/2. I was impressed by his win at Humtingdon four weeks ago showing huge improvement from his debut at Sedgefield.

I'm on all week, Try the Veal

I apologise for there being no post yesterday, oh you didn't notice. The first part of the day was taken up by a visit from the Mother-in-law. I could tell when she had arrived as I could hear her reverse parking her broomstick and the mice were throwing themselves onto the traps.  I'm sorry I appear to have been taken over by the spirit of Les Dawson circa 1970.

We gave her the full tour and she made friends with Darcy Dog, although she was a little in awe of Kavi when I brought him out of the stable to say Hello. I don't really blame her as he is in a very grumpy mood at the moment.

                                          "What are you looking at ?"

You take your life into your hands going into his stable to change his rug, if you get to close to the front end he tries to bite you, too close to the rear he'll get you with his tail. Hopefully this is only a passing phase as Autumn approaches.

After she had rerturned to her coven (Stop that Now !!), I am so sorry she is really a very sweet lady. Anyway I was able to devote some time to watching the racing where there were two eye catchers who it may be worth following this season; Sizing Symphony won very nicely at Fairyhouse in Ireland yesterday and looks as though there will be a couple of decent 3 mile chases in him. Blenheim Brook was a runner up on his seasonal debut yesterday and given a bit of cut should be capable of winning a few races in the North.

I hope you followed my tip on Wednesday as it came 3rd at 16/1. Today's winner (hopefully) will be Hazy Tom in the 5 05 at Worcester. The Charlie Longsden yard is in top form at the moment and he thinks very highly of this former Bangor winner. 11/8 this morning. Good Luck

Imagine the theme tune to Rocky

Yes I know this is the same video twice, but I can't edit one of them away.

.

People have been asking how DJ's training is going in her bid to become the smelliest pooch to win gold at the doggy olympics. I'm pleased to report that she has been working hard and dropped at least a couple of ounces. The eagle eyed amongst you will spot a rejuvenated Ari doing his fabled impression of Didier Drogba claiming a foul at the end. Note the speed, grace and ear-flappingness, she must be nailed on for gold.

Last night's TV was dominated by the C4 documentary on the racehorse where one was dissected to show the biomechanics . As you would expect this happened in glorious technicolour as we were eating tea, no problem to me or Housemate no 1 but the distaff side does not eat meat and was forced to finish her homemade Apple and Blackberry crumble with her eyes shut. Darcy thought it was an advert for an all you can eat buffet, horrid hound.. The size of the horse's lungs and the fact that they can breathe in and out up to 140 times a minute was breathtaking (see what I did there?)

Talking of racehorses, you could do a lot worse than watch Paul Nicholls comments via this link
http://betting.betfair.com/horse-racing/paul-nicholls/the-team/paul-nicholls-2-210911.html

Apart from some decent insights, if you are not interested in racing there is some footage of wonderful looking horses. paul has been champion trainer for the last few years so knows what he is talking about.

Today's tip is a longshot
Devotion to Duty in the 5.20 at Perth. It was 16/1 this morning and is a good each way bet.

Good Golly

The nice lady who lives next door is the proud owner of a couple of dogs: Mouse and Miss Molly, the latter being a pert young hound who sports a very alluring diamante collar. This has not gone unnoticed by our male canines. Last week Darcy was strolling up the drive when he bumped into Miss Molly. At the risk of offending Austen purists it is a truth universally acknowledged that someone called Darcy who is worth 10,000 (bonios) a year must be in need of a partner.

Which dog could resist?

She batted her eyelashes and wagged her tail while Darcy, his hair flopping in a Hugh Grantish manner, stammered and yodelled the latest doggy love songs to her. He left promising to be her facebook friend. Ari  was also smitten by the pert temptress next door and was determined to press his suit. (No he can't iron,try to keep up)

He does, admittedly, share accomodation with DJ, but he has always let it be known that the relationship is platonic, and anyway she is towards the Serena Williams end of the spectrum as far as feminine charms go. Anyway yesterday Molly and the nice lady were feeding the Alpacas so Ari mithered me to go and say Hello to them.  We nonchalently strolled up the drive to "bump into " them. Ari bounded joyously up to his paramour wagging his tail and giving her his best Heathcliffian glower, he then went for his killer move, a little love nip on the bottom. Molly was outraged and fled indoors yelping. Ari was dumb founded, if he had a crest it would  have fallen.

We walked back to the run and I tried to cheer him up by offering him a doggy chew, he looked up at me and said "I don't feel hungry any more" went into his kennel and lay down facing the wall.

Being noble

Yesterday's highlight was the return of Downton Abbey on the TV and we at Barns Cottage settled down with Lord Darcy Dogg to watch the first episode, after 90 minutes, or about 40 minutes if you don't count the adverts, we all felt pretty noble.

Not as noble as Lord Grantham who nobly delivered some clunking dialogue.
Or his daughters, one of whom nobly became a nurse and another of which nobly stiffened her upper lip as her ex boyfriend introduced his fiancee.
Or National Treasure Maggie Smith as she nobly turned into Lady Bracknell.
Or Mr Bates who returned from Lark Rise, where he spent the last two years eating by the look of his tight collar, who nobly left the employ of the family to save a scandal leaving his simpering girlfriend nobly choking back tears.
On the Somme the romantic lead nobly led his men , including taking tea with one of the servants in his trench. The servant nobly knuckled his forelock to the quality having seen his mate, who might as well have carried a placard round the trench saying "Shoot Me", die in a completely expected plot twist.
The only non noble character was a butler who is trying to dodge being called up to be slaughtered on the battlefield, I somehow doubt that he will last the series.
One hopes that it will improve.

Another sad event today is the announcement of the death of Ginger McCain, who will forever be linked with Aintree and Red Rum. A man of his age, he knew how to get the most out of being a bluff northern horseman.

Yesterday's racing tip was withdrawn after the trainer heard that I had said his horse would win.

This morning's hide and seek contest was won by Furrgal the cat who was on the yard one minute and vanished the next. Housemate was amazed as he disappeared before her very eyes. He was discovered under an upturned feed bucket before legging  it to the field where he had a good roll in the mud. Do cats usually roll in mud ?

Tomorrow love is in the air at Barns Cottage.

Har Har me hearties

Yesterday was National Talk Like a Pirate day (you didn't know?) so Ari and I were sat on the step behind the barn overlooking the paddock. Ari was telling me that in his opinion Pirates were the first communists, in as much as they redistributed wealth, usually from the haughty Dons to the workers. I agreed up to a point, certainly they were the first to use the Red Flag (Jolly Roger) as their symbol, and was about to accuse him of Trotskyite tendancies when he asked to be excused as duty called.

He had seen Sharkey the cat walking up the field and was duty bound to chase her, she heard him puffing downn the paddock toward her, sidestepped him and jumped onto the post and rail fence. We were now in the classic standoff position with her staring disdainfully down at him and he quivering with canine agression on the ground.

Enter Carly, he strolled along the field until he was level with Sharkey, he paused while she nuzzled his nose, aaahhh, he then nudged her off the fence towards the slavering jaws of her nemesis, I leapt to my feet hoping to stop a tragedy but she was just able to cling on to the bottom rail and nimbly nipped away from the disappointed mutt.

                                       Is this the face of a trouble maker ?

I'm sure he winked at Ari before wandering off to join his mates.

Two things to be happy about today; the second series of Downton Abbey on the TV, where the landed classes are always nice, and the return of jump racing.

Today's tip:
Castlerock in the 4.20 at Uttoxeter. Ridden by the mighty AP McCoy and only just touched off last time out by Simon Earle's talented Red Not Blue he is available at 5/2.

The fastest sausage in Shropshire ?

This is DJ

Clearly being stalked by Ari, this is the next of our residents. DJ (Dacshund Junior). You just gotta love her, she has floppy ears and the most friendly and agreeable character. When you go out to muck the horses out she always comes lolloping up ready to have her tummy tickled. What's not to like ?

Well she has rather an embarrasing problem, she suffers from nose clenchingly fierce body odour. If anyone likes the smell of damp dog then she is the one for you. The best part is that she is blissfully unaware of this and when people shriek and run away (and they do) she considers this to be a great game and romps after you with her ears flapping in the wind. She is a female Pepe Le Peu

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepe_Le_Peu

The link is for those of you too young to remember the character.

It was decided that she badly needed a bath this summer and many days were put aside to pamper the pooch but she appears to have some sort of control over the weather and every day we got out the shampoo it rained and was very cold giving her many reprieves.

As she is getting older she is undergoing a mid life crisis and has decided to enter the 2012 Doggy Olympics which are to be held at the Hopton Cangeford Arena next year. I will shortly post a video of her training.

The great Tomato famine of 2011

Nice plants

Barns Cottage might be described as somewhat spartan in appearence, and therefore earlier this spring it was decided to cheer the place up a bit with a few pots and planters. Housemate number one's mother has the greenest of fingers and she duly supplied us with a large number of plants. Most of these have been splendid. However we were all particularly excited by the tomato plants.

Visions of Tomato laden celebrations kept us going through the long summer days. The plants played their part in the early stages growing like small Triffids and even producing some green fruits/veg at the end of July.
Every day I went out to inspect them, beating the dogs off and watering them profusely, the toms stayed resolutely green. I moved them around so that they enjoyed the sun all day, greenness abounded, fed them with a specialist plant feed, if anything a bit greener and even put a banana at the base of the plants. This led to a furhter increase in greenness. The final straw, probably green, came last weekend when the strong winds flattened the b**ds.

For those of you viewing this in black and white, imagine green.

Please do not send me any recipes for Green Toamato chutney as I made some two years ago and am still trying to get rid of it.

Today me and she who is obeyed went to take a trip on the Severn Valley Steam Railway.
http://www.svr.co.uk/

 Whilst waiting for the train on Kiddeminster station we were entertained on the platform by some very talented local violinists. Not sure why the Kiddiefiddlers are not more famous. (Copyright HMN 2011). Badum tish.

Back to the future

After his slip at the weekend  people have been a bit concerned about the health of aging endurance ace Ged. I'm pleased to report that he is now fine. He was given a clean bill of health by the McTimmony back lady who visited yesterday.
http://www.whatclinic.com/chiropractic/uk/shropshire/ellen-stanwell

                            Ged looking perky (and waiting for a haynet refill)

She also checked over Sid, Rooster and had her first look at Kavi. As was likely he had a few old problems which may have been caused by racing, he was also a bit stiff in his rear end. She spent quite a while manipulating various bits of his anatomy which he stood for fairly well. She said that he may be a bit sore for a day or two and that he had been a brave boy. She was briefing me on his rehabilitation while I held him, and absent mindedly I patted his neck he bit me. Clearly despite having him for 10 months we still haven't bonded. Carly, the yard hypochondriac, on the other hand could not believe that a therapist had visited and not paid him a visit. He hopped about from hoof to hoof in his stable and looked disappointed that he was clearly in good health.

An unearthly screeching noise has just dragged me from the computer, it turned out to be one of the lady next door's alpaccas; whom I am supposed to be keeping an eye on. They do make some strange noises but the alpacca in question was stood in the middle of the field and looked fine, perhaps she is the alpacca Lady Gaga.

Tomorrow the topic will be gardening, any questions on mulching or taters will probably be ignored.
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This will contain photos of Lingerie

On Saturday Carly, the yard soothsayer, warned about going out, he was ignored then and yesterday he again informed the number one wife that it was not a good idea to go out for a hack. To no avail

Off they set and the stubble field the destination. On arrival they prepared for a good canter but as they were about to set off a wasp flew down the front of the surprised rider's top. Executing a flying dismount a la Frankie Dettori our heroine threw off her hat, then her top. Convinced that the wasp had taken up residence in her cleavage, off came the bra to ensure that the, admittedly painful, sting was the only damage.

                                      A Bra similar to that which was exposed.

A passing farmer was heard to comment later "Oi was just going down moi field to see off this ere trespaaaser when 'er started gettin her kit off, oi've never seen anything loike it and oim from Hopton Cangeford"

 A phone call was received at ride HQ and the trained paramedic team swung into action. I offered to administer first aid provided that I could thoroughly examine the affected area, but was told that a squirt of Waspeeze would suffice.

 The wasp was unavailable for comment last night.

In a further incident the lady from the big house sent her PA down to do some work.

Ari was not happy, however he has nearly eaten his way to freedom.

The guv'nor

This is Sid. he is the leader of the herd.

 I'm not sure how or why he was elected, it certainly wasn't because of his bravery. A few days ago the hedges were being cut about two fields away. Sid, as leader was very concerned about this, not concerned enough to do anything but there was clearly a problem that needed looking at. As such he called for Rooster, his Health and Safety rep . Now there are few things Rooster enjoys more than a good worry and in no time at all he had the rest of the herd lined up, wearing hard hats, eye protection and a life jacket in the corner of the top paddock whilst he marched up and down wringing his neck as he cobbled together an exhaustive risk assessment.

There hadn't been so much excitement since the harvest a couple of weeks ago. There was haymaking going on in a field at the bottom of the hill across the lane, they were rivetted for three evenings, maybe it was the equine equivilent of Master Chef.

Last night's TV highlight was Fiona Bruce striding around Buckingham Palace in an unflattering blue dress, she showed all of her talents; joining in a duet with Her Majesty's Head of dull nineteenth century European music and horse riding. Was it just me or was the right stirrup just a teensy bit longer than the left, and was the right leg flapping just a tad at the canter ? It was a bold effort but she has a lot to learn from the sublime Lucy Worsley
 http://www.lucyworsley.com/home.html

This morning Kavi outsped Rooster up the stubble field gallop both times. Get in !!

Don't be frightened, he is only 50% likely to bite you.

This is Ari the Barns Cottage guard dog. He currently resides with his chum DJ in the pound under the shelter in the front yard. Ari's main job is to alert us to anyone in the vicinity by loud and prolonged barking. This however is only his warning mode; when allowed to roam free on the yard he can exercise his psychopathic tendencies. Ari is clearly a militant socialist as he only has to hear an upper class eccent to go bananas and attempt to bite chunks out of them. It matters not one jot if you are merely employed by the quality as he has no time for the capitalist running dogs either, PAs and Swedish au pairs have also been given a sharp nipping for invading his manor.

Don't even get him started on posh dogs, when the lady from the big house's dogs Raaaascal and Scaaandal dare to venture on to the yard he gets really angry and attempts to eat his way out of the run, literally.

I kind of like him and we like to go for long walks together discussing Marxist theory and the eventual victory of the labouring classes.

Having met a fighter it is now time to meet a lover

. This is Furrgall, the Maurice Chevalier of Middleton. He lives with his almost identical sister Sharkey (she has a white tip to her tail) in the main barn. They luxuriate on top of the hay bales peering imperiously down on all the activity below. As you might imagine Ari hates them and chases them at every opportunity, (for which he usually gets a paw in the face).

After spending the day chillin' it is only after dark that Furrgall dusts off his going out fur and sashays off to town to meet some laaadeeez. He tries to keep his peregrinations quiet but he has been spotted near Hopton Cangeford, and we all know what goes on there !!!

On his return after a hard night's roistering he particularly likes to disport himself in the sunny areas of the yard waiting for his long suffering sister to bring him some titbit from the field to turn his nose up at.

It's a windy day today so the better half has decided against riding and is getting restless, I fear the vacuun cleaner is about to be deployed soon. Have a good day.

Medical report

Carly said that going out for a hack in the rain was a bad idea but number 1 wife and housemate insisted. Sadly Ged (aging but game endurance horse) and housemate slipped when entering stubble field for a canter. (See my previous post about unguarded fields.)  Both came down and limped back into the yard feeling a little sorry for themselves. This morning they are both a bit stiff, the one after a night in the field the other dosing herself with cider and takeout pizza (not available on NHS sadly).

Talking of horse accidents top jockey Ruby Walsh returns to action today at Listowel in Ireland. In the last 18 months he has suffered from a broken arm, a broken leg and a crushed vertebrae in his neck. The very fact that he even wants to see a horse again leaves me in awe. I hope his luck changes and that he and Kauto Star can have one last hurrah this season.

Talking of bravery, and indeed exponentially upping the stakes today cannot go by without remembering the tragic events in New York 10 years ago. Particularly the 343 firemen who lost their lives that terrible day. I was a fireman myself at the time and we all used to shake our heads at American firemens' gung ho attitude and slapdash approach to firefighting, which explained their awful death rate. But on this occasion you could only be humbled by their bravery and we all prayed that we would never be in such a dreadful situation.

http://nyfd.com/9_11_wtc.html

A sombre end to today's blog. Tomorrow we will meet some more characters from the yard, the boulavardier cat and the savage, socialist guard dog.

A windy day

"Look it might be windy and I might have a generous covering of mud but lets go out !!"

This, as you may have guessed, is Kavi, or at least most of him, he does have a tail; prior to his Saturday morning constitutional with Rooster. Having groomed him and tacked him up it was a little disconcerting to see the current lady of my life appear with a neckstrap for him. "You probably won't need this but just in case" she trilled. My mouth went dry.

There are far too many unattended stubble fields in South Shropshire, something should be done to make them secure from determined blonde ladies on chestnut arabs,  we zoomed up and down them at what might be described as a fair clip. When the fields were exhausted the steep hill from Stanton Lacy was utilised and we shot up there too.

We walked quietly back through the estate only pausing for Kavi to attempt to bite Rooster as he politely held the gate open. 95 minutes at top speed. Kavi retired to his field for a roll and a rest.

Another household member

This is Darcy the housedog. And no he is not off for a round of golf, he is modelling his pullover. He wears this after he has had a bath as Tibetan Terriers, for such is he, feel the cold. He tries not to wear this article of clothing when other dogs Ari and DJ (who you will meet later) are around.

He is housemate's number 1 friend and yodels instead of barking. When the mood takes him he sounds like the Hound of the Damned.

Some may say that he is spoiled but he refutes this accusation, you will be able to judge for yourselves in the future.

Carly says Hello

This is El Carmaal aka Carly, he is an Arab horse who used to be my other half's endurance horse. It was through him that we discovered the barefoot principal
http://www.rockcrunchers.co.uk/
This link will explain far better than me the barefoot concept.
Carly is now 17 and has retired from competitive events but still enjoys going out on fun rides and hacking out in the beautiful Shropshire countryside.
Incidentally Carly would like to remind us that he is an Arab horse and is less than keen on all this alien white stuff even though he wears big thick rugs to keep him warm

A new start

Although this is not the best time to start a blog mainly about jump racing, it does leave me 10 days to make sure I have this blogging business sorted out.
My nom de blog is from my horse; a retired jumper called Kavi who was trained for the majority of his career by Simon Earle. A lot of Simon's horses run without wearing horseshoes, this is an alien concept to most trainers but is one which I support.
 Kavi's last race was at Newton Abbot in August 2010 when he incurred a slight tendon injury. He was retired and I was fortunate enough, through my support of "barefoot" horses, to be allowed to give him a happy retirement at our small yard just south of Ludlow in Shropshire.
http://www.simonearleracing.com/
I also hope to post some news about him and our other equine chums here at the yard;
Ley Lader aka Rooster who is my wife's endurance horse.
http://www.endurancegb.co.uk/
This link will tell you about endurance riding, I will keep you up to date with his performances this year.

                                         Rooster says Hi