Gorn Away

It has been pointed out in the last couple of entries that Sharkey has been rather friendly with the horses recently. She has been perched up on fence posts shamelessly making up to all of our residents, including the pointers.

                                "And are you a good jumper then ?"

I was just thinking that that was quite nice, seeing all the animals interacting is always pleasant to see, although it must be said that I got the impression that some kind of interview was taking place.

However things took a worrying turn yesterday when I was walking through Ludlow's, internationally famous Tweed Quarter and idly looked through the window of Inbreds "Shropshire's Premier Wildlife Slaughterer Outfitter" and there she was.The frisky feline was being fawned over by an assistant whilst being fitted for a jacket in Hunting Pink. When questioned later she told me that she has killed everything in the vicinity and is looking to join the hunt next season to take Reynard down. Tired of voles she  wants the big game now. I shall be looking on her wall closely in future (not her Facebook wall of course, to check that there are no trophies there.

I tried to appeal to her brother,the increasingly scarce Furrgall promising  him that I will up their level of biscuits and pouch based food if he could talk her out of this latest muderous habit

              "Huhh, flamin' hormonal women, What can you do ? I try to stay out of the way"
These are probably the wisest words he has ever said.

Wrong wrong wrong

Cheese, we all like it right ? Cheese is not one dimensional, there are lots of types which should cater for all tastes. There are white, red, blue, crumbly,soft indeed a cornucopia of taste. (I'll stop now, I'm starting to sound like a contestant on Just A Minute)  If you don't like one type there are plenty of others that can tickle your taste buds.

  Some sensible cheeses that anyone would be happy to have in a cheeseboard, ok maybe not the Parmesan

Last week after having eaten a fine meal and knocked back a decent bottle of Prosecco, oh yes we live the life you know, we were asked what dessert we would like. Being in Somerset, the home of cheddar and Somerset Brie, we decided to go with the local cheeses selection. The above mentioned were fine then we turned out attention to the red one with tiny black specks in it.

 "AAAAArrrrgghhh," the waitress was called over."WTF is this "we enquired

 "Oh yes it's a great favourite here, it's called Red Devil, it has chilli in it"

 Why oh why do people have to try to improve cheese by putting things in it ? If I wanted to eat chilli I would have asked for it. Leave cheese alone.

Another thing that was noticeable in the pubs in Somerset was the presence, in every public bar, usually supping the local, opaque, cider, of a local "character". We didn't notice it at first, but as each time we went to the bar, a ruddy faced, yokel with a stained plaid shirt was holding forth to the locals, holidaymakers and second homers. There surely can't be that many colourful characters we thought until we caught one who was clearly on his break. He was chatting into a mobile phone.

"Hello, it's Torquil here" he piped

"How's the weather in Primrose Hill ?" lisped our rude mechanical

"Look you are supposed to be a top agent" he continued "When you promised me a summer season in Exford I thought I would be giving the punters my Mercutio or perhaps a Noel Coward juve lead but no, all I'm doing is talking Mummersetshire about the weather, sheep and spouting casual racism"

Mystery solved.

The importance of pre-planning

An important part of being a successful endurance team is reconnaissance. So prior to last week's Golden Horseshoe H and I traipsed all over Exmoor looking for suitable places to crew Rooster in his 80 kilometre ride. The first thing that struck me was that Exmoor could do with a motorway through the middle of it as the "roads" are so narrow and windy not to mention seriously steep. Anyway we did a few miles upping and downing whilst we thought Rooster was saving his energy.

                                        "Yup, I'll be with you Tuesday, No problem"

Come Tuesday, 5 degrees and a howling gale, good old May, he ambled around the first 40 k in his normal Roosterish way until we reached the vetting point at halfway. He then threw in a sickie, he stumbled up the trot up four or five times before we agreed with the vets that it was a good idea not to let him do the remaining 40k and retire from the event. Disappointed but happy that Rooster was not too badly hurt H went back to where the ride was being held to retrieve the trailer to return him to the farm on which we were staying. Eventually all the other competitors left the lush meadow where we were being held. I let him off his rope and he trotted off with his head in the air and a perfect action.

                                         "Sussing the route out is all"

Clearly on Sunday while we thought that he was lazing with his hooves up he had worked out that if he got to halfway then he could get a good hour or so's grazing on the lush Somerset sward and have a lift home at the end of it.

He is still showing no ill effects, thankfully and he was happy to return home to the consternation of the rest of the herd who'd rather hoped that he was gone for good.

Next time, cheese that is so wrong and local characters in pubs.

It's a Jolly Holiday with Rooster

It is the time of year when we all look forward to our holidays. relaxing with friends and family, nothing to care about except where to have lunch and what to do in the afternoon. H and I have booked a cottage in the lovely Exmoor countryside for next week. Not far from a great pub, The Royal Oak, and with wonderful views over the Moor
http://www.theroyaloakinnluxborough.co.uk/

Why is it then that things are never as straightforward as you hope ? I was idly strolling through the yard yesterday when I happened to look over Rooster's stable door. He seemed to be consulting a list. he was saying "Mmm Spare rugs...check, Suntan cream....check, sunglasses...check"

                                         "I think I'm going to need a larger suitcase"

"Off on your hols my chestnut chum ?" I asked. "Yes " he replied "A lovely week in Exmoor from Saturday". Now this is either a major coincidence or I have been out of the holiday loop somehow.

"Light of my life" I called to the small blond planner "Rooster is going to Exmoor too next week, that's a surprise, seeing as how we are going too ." "Of course he's coming idiot boy, he's doing the Golden Horseshoe 50 mile challenge" Don't break the news to him yet.

On hearing this Carly gave his door a brisk kicking and demanded to come too. "Precious little Arab, you cannot come with us" I told him

 "Why not! I could watch him do the ride and keep him company in the field before and after the event" Not thinking about nice fresh Somerset hay, cider and sunshine then.

 "We can't afford to take everyone with us my fragile legged pigeon" I pleaded with him.

"Rubbish, there is plenty of room in the trailer and I won't be expensive"

 "Even so Light Of My Beloved's eyes, the bankers took all of our money and we have to survive on scraps" I wheedled

 "Don't talk tosh there is plenty of money about, look at all those bankers with their bonuses, the rich growing fat on the blood, sweat and toil of the workers.." a new voice piped up from the other side of the yard. "If we're all in this together the how come the government can afford to cut taxes for the top wage earners whilst closing old horses' homes, libraries and bonio dispensaries" As you may have guessed our resident Trot Ari had come over to put in his chewstick's worth.

                                           "Come the glorious day...."etc etc
I left him boring the fetlocks off Carly who couldn't care less either way as long as he is given top priority.

So there will not be a chat next week as we will be away, I will closely check the trailer to ensure that no other stowaways join us, and the car doesn't break downl and there is no fuel strike and Rooster stays sound and....I think it will be easier to stay at home.

Trees and a landslide

Goodness we have had some weather in the last couple of weeks, it ended with one of our mistletoe trees being blown over.

Not being sure whether mistletoe was poisonous I was sent down the field to cut the offending limbs from the tree. I took the wheelbarrow, a saw and a Scottie through the glutinous mud to complete my task. After half an hour's manic hacking I had a barrowful and was painfully dragging the by now very heavy and precarious load up the incline when the occupants of the field noticed that I was there and trotted over to "help".

                                        "I'm a lumberjack you know"

Rocky's idea of helping was trying to re-arrange the contents of the barrow by nudging them and nearly tipping the barrow over when I was about knee deep in the muddy gateway. He learnt a few new words that he hadn't heard in Wales before he left off. His eyes then alighted on Ari, "A-ha fun time " was his next thought as the unfortunate pooch was chased up and down the field. Oh what fun we are going to have with him.

Talking of Ari , today was the polling day at the local elections and Ari was going to stand for the Middleton and Hopton Cangeford seat on the local council representing the SWP (the Socialist Woofing Party). But to be considered for candidature you have to be nominated by 10 local people who can vouch for your character. he fell eight short. Raaaascal was elected again unopposed.