Getting Rich The Scotty Way

This fine looking creature is called Nivver Bae and he is the apple of the up and coming trainer's eye. He is pictured enjoying the evening sun in the paddock next to the house.And that is the problem as far as Ari is concerned. Having been banned from all the things that he formerly enjoyed; spouting Socialist doctrine, biting posh people (bye the bye anyone who has the Sky channel Blighty can look for the re run of Who Do You Think You are featuring Alexander Armstrong in which Downton and Cruella feature) and chasing cats, he has decided to take over from me as a betting guru.

Sounds unlikely I know, but he cannot be any worse than me. Anyway Nivver Bae has been entered at Cheltenham and Stratford next month and Ari has been saving up his chewsticks, he tried to interest DJ in the scheme with predictable results.

                         "You don't get a physique like this by cutting back on basics "

Ari is worried about Nivver Bae's fitness for the race, and as he has invested heavily ante-post he decided to take matters into his own paws. He nipped into the paddock barking furiously at the poor horse like some demented Duncan Norvelle (one for older readers there) until he was chased five or six times round by the understandably irate equine. Don't tell the up and coming for goodness sake.

Furrgal is making slow recovery from his injuries and is bravely limping around the yard. He has lost a bit of condition and so we have lashed out on Catfood Pouches to feed him up a bit. We put them in his bowl and he laps them up. The problem is that Sharkey has got wind of this and comes racing into the barn to get her share, it takes three of us to hold her back so that Furrgall can get his supply. Our other patient ,Kavi ,still has a scabby head but has returned to his normal morose self.

I'll have 'em

We've been having a few problems with the central heating boiler here recently. After the normal wait of a couple of weeks the heating engineers arrived yesterday for some maintenance work. Darcy was upstairs having an afternoon snooze when they arrived and was unaware of their presence for quite some time. We were all out on the yard doing horse related activities and left the blokes to get on with their work in the ute room.

                                                Savage Guard Dog

When we returned to have a cup of tea Darcy bounded up to us shouting "There's people in the house, look out !!" We just ignored him. A minute or two later one of the blokes walked through the kitchen, Darcy said "Look ! There he is look!!" He couldn't understand why we seemed so unconcerned.

Next Sunday our lovelyneice is running a half marathon, yes we were surprised when she told us, having not shown a vast amount of athletic prowess for most of her life, (sorry). She is fundraising for Bliss, this really important charity has given her the spur to put on her trainers and put herself through a rigorous training regime.

http://www.justgiving.com/Lisa-Applin

So, if the chancellor has left you any money please visit the above and donate whatever you can, even a couple of quid will make a difference. As a special reward, anyone who donates from the Kaviclan will receive, free and gratis, an undertaking from Ari that he will not bite you should you call at BC.

                                                  "I'll be your mate"

Lammy I'm not your Daddy

What a beautiful day it was today. As soon as breakfast was finished Kavi and Carly were tacked up and off we set for a lovely hack through the estate. As we went on to the Green we had to pick our way through all the cute lambs. After a few yards we realised that Carly had picked up a bit of a following.

I suppose that it only when you take a close look at his white and fluffiness that you can see that impressionable young lambs might take him for some kind of Super Sheep creature and want to follow him. Thankfully after a few yards they realised their error. Carly looked a bit disappointed, he clearly saw himself as an ovine Pied Piper.

Tomorrow is my father's birthday and, leaving it to the last moment as I usually do, I went into town to buy him a card. I walked into the "Card Shop" and was perusing the shelves when the lady behind the counter said "Are you looking for a card". This is in the Card Shop that sells cards, and only cards. I resisted the urge to be smart and agreed that this was the point of my visit. "Any particular type of card love ?" It's getting harder but I maintained my niceness. I told her that it was a birthday card for my father. She suggested that I tried the section that was for Fathers, the one I was standing in front of.  A few seconds later we were agreeing that there were a lot of cards there. "What sort of thing is he into ?" she enquired.

They didn't have any cards with large breasted women on them.

I'm sorry that the blogs are becoming more infrequent but part of the reason is the start of the Endurance season and my services are required by H and Rooster to assist them. Yesterday we were off to some Godforsaken forest on top of a hill in Wales. I was given my instructions as they set off for a 25 mile event. "Meet us at X and Y with water for Rooster and drinks for me" The first meeting went without a hitch but after then, and I am writing this next to Ari and DJ in their doggy abode, I decided not to bother to go to the second rendezvous but go straight back to the venue. I might have got away with it had I not settled down on the chair and nodded of. I was rudely woken by a serious nudgimg from an irate, and thirsty Rooster. "How many pumps ?" I said, giving the game away . (I thought that I was back in the Fire Service and the alarm had gone off and I was needed to go on a shout).

"No I don't want a bite of your chewstick Ari"

Of Tonsure and Tubbiness

There's a man rubbing his brisket on the TV at the moment (or atm as we down with the kids say). Soon it will be time for Fat people being surprised at the fact that they are fat because they eat lots and thin people getting upset by the fact that they are thin because they don't eat. Never mind Dr Handsome will soon be along to patronise them.

It's been a few days since I've blogged, there have been Endurance rides to attend dogs to be walked and sadly a funeral to go to. Also the Cheltenham festival started today and I have to ensure that bookmakers have plenty of liquidity. Sorry about that, so, back to the animal whimsy

It looks like the life of a professional gambler is not one for me, H will probably not make it as a diet counsellor judging by the comments she is aiming at the portly gent on the telly. Housemate is considering adding hairstylist to her portfolio of jobs. Darcy was the model today..

         "When I said that I need my hair cutting badly this wasn't what I had in mind"

Emergency Ward 10

There have been a couple of sad events happening in the last couple of days here at BC. As I reported earlier in the week Furrgall is a bit lame, although it has to be said that his lameness has moved from his front leg to his back leg. He has been given a sick bay up in the rug loft and twice a day we trek up the steep staircase to ensure that he is recovering I will keep you informed. Meanwhile there has been a worrying number of cats from the district trying to move in on his manor. We've tried to chase them off but they are persistent. Although I would hate to hurt anything , Ari may have to be set loose to drive them off if Furrgall does not get back on his paws soon

 To add to the list of injured, poor Kavi got his head jammed in the horse walker this morning. I say got his head jammed, it was the fault of his stupid dad, Kavis ex mate as I am now. It just goes to show that a moment's lack of thought can lead to unfortunate circumstances. Thankfully he is a sensible lad and didn't panic so I was able to lift his head up over the side of the contraption.  Apart from a few scrapes he appears to be alright. A few days sick leave is on the agenda for him now.

                                           The two patients in happier times.

There was nearly a third casualty when the Lord of the Manor paid a brief visit last night. Ari cocked an ear to the well modulated Eton and Cambridge tones before hurtling across the yard frantically trying to tear his muzzle off to land a telling bite for the downtrodden masses.

 Thankfully H grabbed his collar (Ari's that is) before the rent was doubled following the inevitable toff mastication that would have ensued. Disappointed but still unbowed  the muzzled Mutt was sufficiently scary to bring on an unexpected selection of reels from Riverdance as he menaced another victim who was innocently going about her business on the yard.

                                        The dog with less than three friends

Lengthy musings in an almost Victorian manner

I spend quite a lot of time looking at horse pooh. Not as a hobby, or indeed for any sort of pleasure but there is a lot of it where there are horses. Often, if not nearly always, it is in the wrong place. Usually in their stables from whence it has to be moved to the muck heap ready for collection by Dave the Hay. Recently it has looked a bit different;the pooh that is, slightly loose with a greenish hue, "Aaah" say the Barefoot Sorority "this means that the spring grass is starting to come through". This is a good thing and a bad thing, a bad thing because, as they opine, it is bad for their hooves. There is an explanation for this but I have no intention to go into it here, too technical (if not dull). However this means that horses should only have small amounts of the new grass. Therefore they have to be kept in their stables for a certain amount of time during the day.

This shows Ramah and Carly in their stables (Rooster was out on a mission), both of whom are keen to get out. They have haynets to keep them occupied but boredom has set in. If you look very hard at the stable on the far left you ...still won't be able to see Kavi, who has his head stuck into his net and will not move until it is empty.

This brings me on to my point for the day. My Room 101 article would be "Things that people blame for problems that are, in fact, peoples' own problems" Let me explain; Spring grass for horses is like Pie or cake for us, it tastes great, but if not taken in moderation can do you harm. Alcohol is another thing, it makes my blood get a bit warm when it is blamed for people getting drunk and doing bad things. It is not the fault of the drink it is the fault of the use to which we put it. ( I bet you thought that I was going to end that sentance with a preposition ) Carly, for example can be put with a large amount of food but will only eat until he has had enough and then stop. Kavi will not. H and Housemate will have one biscuit each and then stop, I , if not restrained, would eat the packet. (Don't you hate people with that amount of self control ?)

However as far as beer and my other "one small weakness", betting are concerned I can keep to the limits that I set myself. This is just as well as the gambling has not been going well. You would think that armed with this formidable arsenal of knowledge I would be quids in

But No. All the things that turned me a nice profit before Christmas have not worked in January and February. Strange that. Still it is the Cheltenham Festival next week and I shall launch a tipping competition with wonderful prizes. I will probably be the only entrant so hope to come in the first three.