He's doomed I tell ye

I tell you what is starting to annoy me ? Flippin' google. When we sit watching TV I might make the remark "Who is that ?" Cue H tippy tapping on the computer." It's so and so" she'll say. Housemate will join in. "What's he been in ?" Tippity tap "He was in that film with her with the coke habit". H will report. I will reach for the volume control so that I can hear what is happening on the TV. "It says here" she will continue "that he is 42" "Tuh" Housemate will say "he won't see 50 again". I will harrumph. H goes on " Do you know that he is 5ft 10 inches tall" "Hah ! that's his stage height, he is about 5ft 3 inches and that is with elevator shoes" Housemate expostulates. SHUT UP.

Darcy returned from his couturier last evening sporting his new creation the Winter kilt

He was feeling quite pleased with himself until Ari flew at him, they had to be pulled apart, (poorly paw and all that). I took Ari to one side to tell him off and find out what the problem was. It appears that Ari Macari the scion of the mighty clan Macari had seen that Darcy was wearing the plaid of the Clan McPoshdoggie of Cowdenbeath.

 The clans are sworn enemies following the great Massacre of Glenbonio in 1776. The effete English supported the McPoshdoggie as they ground the peasants down. The Macaris were doling out porridge to the poor and undernourished when they were surprised by the rascally enemies cunningly and underhandedly with desperate consequences for the . it has to be said, unlikely socialists.

 Now all the Macaris are taught at their mothers' paw to revenge themselves at every opportunity. He was only following a long tradition. I have negotiated a truce